Quing is a way of life.  Quing is a belief system that does not believe in 
believing, but don't think about it.  Worship all others before Quing.  No chin,
no legs.  Quing is all things except that which is Quing, but don't think about 
it.  Quing is not unlike Quing on a cross, on a rope, in a can.  Do not think 
about Quing.  No chin, no legs.  The only way to not know about Quing is to 
unlearn all the things you don't know about Quing, but don't think about it.  
To picture Quing you must picture everything that is not Quing; that is what 
Quing looks like.  Sit up all night not thinking about Quing.  No chin, no legs.
Quing is like all the thoughts you've never thought of, but don't think about 
it.  Quing is not unlike all of the fishing trips you never took.  Quing exists 
only to eat Quingself.  No chin, no legs.  Contemplate Quing by not thinking of 
Quing.  Quing is like a ceiling fan without the qualities generally attributed 
to ceiling fans.  Quing is not unlike a form of furry golf balls, but don't 
think about it.  No chin, no legs.  Do not think about Quing and you will be the
foremost disciple of Quing.  Never has Quing not been unlike fur-flavored 
inside-out cake.  Do not allow Quing to not be small animals risking gastric 
distress.  No chin, no legs.  Win a date with Quing; entries must not be 
submitted.  No not talk about Quing with all of the people you wish you 
knew.  Quing is like cold fire, but don't think about it.  No chin, no legs.
Don't live out your wildest fantasies with Quing.  Learn how to be Quing by not 
being Quing.  Quing can only harm you if you think about Quing.  No chin, no 
legs.  Do not live like those who would not live unlike Quing.  Sing along with 
Quing as Quing eats Quingself and exists solely for that purpose.  Don't define 
definitions with Quing, but don't think about it.  No chin, no legs.  Do not 
consider Quing.  Quing in flight; don't think about it.   Quing-box without 
surfaces.  No chin, no legs.  Preach Quing but don't think about it.  
Dehydrated Quing deprivation.  Add a twist of Quing to your evening.  No 
chin, no legs.  Quing is what Quing is not.  Teenage dreams of Quing.  Don't 
tell your kids about Quing and they will love Quing even more.  No chin, no
legs.  Quing is not unlike a circular cube.  Do not listen to the confessions of
Quing.  You have been led not to disbelieve Quing, but don't think about it.   
No chin, no legs.  Fan the flames of the creativity of Quing then get out of the
way.  Quing is everything in the universe except Quing, but don't think about 
it.  Quing envy.  No chin, no legs.  Do not allow Quing to operate heavy farm 
machinery while Quing is not small children.  Don't check your hair for Quing.  
pay no attention to Quing or the words you now read.  No chin, no legs.  Do 
not think about Quing while under the influence of Quing.  Quing is the lack 
thereof.  Quing is every step you have never taken.  No chin, no legs.  Once is 
not enough; plant a porkchop today.  Do not disallow Quing to not happen to 
your family.  Don't be fooled by imitation Quing.  No chin, no legs.  If it is 
not Quing it is Quing.  Quing is smaller than the universe, which is smaller 
than Quing.  If it is Quing it is not Quing.  No chin, no legs.  Quing country 
does not consist of Quing.  Quing is not unlike the space between food.  Quing 
defines Quingself by actively not being Quing.  No chin, no legs.  Quing is 
not unlike a five-legged biped, but don't think about it.  Love Quing, eat
Quing, experience Quing, ponder Quing, be Quing, but don't think about Quing.  
Don't put Quing on your toothbrush.  No chin, no legs.  Quing is not unlike a
one-sided pancake.  Quing does not eat your food.  Quing cannot be read about;
since you are attempting to do so perhaps you should re-evaluate your lack of 
thoughts about Quing.  No chin, no legs.

- Excerpted from RConfessions of a Teenage Quing-FiendS by Pop Gus 
Rasputin and Rev. Zum Splurb.  Published by Epileptic Aardvark 
Publications, 1953. (Out of Print)