Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns Subject: USEFUL PHRASES TO KNOW WHEN TRAVELLING IN MOSLEM AREAS From: doug@wiley.UUCP Date: Fri, 1 Aug 97 7:20:15 EDT Lines: 56 This is from a multi-generation xerox copy that was given to me by someone I know. I have no idea where it came it from or if it is accurate, but it is amusing nonetheless. AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOTFAN. Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun. FEKR GABUL CRADAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR. I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie on the floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart. SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE. I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life. AUTO ARREREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH HAST. It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car. FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYEH MOHEMARA JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN. If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public. KHREL JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEH AMERIKAHEY. I will tell you the names and addresses of many American spies travelling as reporters. BALLI, BALLI, BALLI ! Whatever you say! MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLEIEH, GHORBAN. The red blindfold will be lovely, excellency. TIEKH NUNEH OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM. The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe. [Ed: Reportedly these phrases are actually garbled Persian! ] -- From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and Jim Griffith. This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup rec.humor.funny. Visit http://comedy.clari.net/rhf to browse the RHF pages and archives on the web. Rec.humor.funny and RHF.reruns are provided by ClariNet, publisher of the net's largest (1.5 million paying subscriber) E-newspaper. http://www.clari.net